be still my soul

 Do you feel that? ... Can you feel that? Its a stirring of your soul that lived through the darkest hours.

Some moments and memories are better left in the box locked away with the key... for some reason those memories are trying to fight their way to the surface of my life. Ones which were put away for the sake of my soul... for the sake of my life.

Childish fears... the pain is to real to relive nor could I fall to the pain I once felt with my family so close behind me... I couldn't and wont let them fall. I know that I have to stay strong.

Music will stir uncontrollable feelings, making me feel like my world is moving in backwards motion while I watch and as it rewinds with no power to stop it. I feel every tear, every pain, every loss. The weight on my chest.. darkness that my life use to play in. No light... for such a long time. 
I feel the warmth of the sun bring me back to life,

My saving grace... My guardian angel... My best friend... My husband.

I wake from this dream and wonder why he trys to fix me... I keep thinking how i was broken beyond repair... suddenly I know I am not sleeping, Im still here and all that is left of yesterday. I must pick up one foot infront of the other and will myself to keep moving... because God has given me much to live for.

My soul stirs... God is who i beg to help me fight this back into the box where it belongs. With his love I feel his presence close... Free....

I can breath.

My Soul is still.